For this iExamen, I decided to use
a regular weekday instead of a day on the weekend. During the week, my
interactions with people are very different than they are on a weekend; I am
forced to come into contact with a different group of people and in doing so,
have different interactions than with the normal group of friends that I am
usually with.
It
was actually kind of humorous to observe myself during the weekday of
Wednesday, because on that day, I was working at a table outside of Boulder for
the Outdoor Adventure Experience. A part of the job of working at the table was
to interact with people that I have never met before and try to persuade them
to go on our trips. Not only that, but I was paired with a person whose personality
traits are completely opposite of mine.
What
I observed that day was that of the two, I was the more passive; I wouldn’t
talk to or at anybody until they came up and inquired about the program. Like
always, I was kind. I would talk to these people, with somewhat limited eye
contact and a bunch of nervous habits, about what we were doing. And when
people completely ignored us, or rejected outright, I was able to let it go and
move on to a different person. However, the more outspoken partner of mine had
some things to say under his breath. Overall at this table, I was able to
observe myself being kind and polite, as I was trying even harder because of
this assignment. This is something easy for me, especially when I know that I
am in a leadership role trying to better others.
In
my room, it was business as usual. I always get along with my roommates, so not
being mean was not an issue. However, we do joke a lot, so refraining from
saying something as a joke that was sarcastic or derogatory took a little bit
of effort. This just made me more aware of exactly what is being said in our
room, and even the things that I say in those conversations.
Just like I have
highlighted in the last iExamen, silence is one of my favorite and most
effective things in the world. This is why I am usually up late at night; I
think that being in the silence and stillness of night allows me to think well
and to get in touch with myself. This when I do things such as write songs, do
most of my homework, and read. In observing myself, this becomes even clearer
to me. The only slip hat I had through the night was watching politics. Since I
am a politics junkie, it is the one thing that ticks me off more than anything,
and I noticed myself slip a bit when watching a show on some good old
corruption.
Throughout the day, like everyday, I
noticed myself saying things that are kind and useful. Like I pointed out in my
last blog, I am a great listener, and whenever throughout the day somebody came
up to me, I always listen and do my best to give good advice that will help in
their problems. It’s something that I try to practice everyday, and not just
for these assignments. However, consciously observing myself doing these things
helps me to know myself more, which is something tougher than you would thing.
And in these observations, I am able to learn more and fix more about the way
that I act.
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