Matt McIntyre
Into to Lit
Dr. Juniper Ellis
October 20th, 2013
Before
getting into detail on my reflection, take note that in class on the day where
we had to present a word to describe ourselves, I said “sarcastic”. For me this was actually more difficult than
just sitting in silence and pondering thoughts. I had to go outside of my
comfort zone, which is not something that can be done easily. My persona was
altered for that entire day and people really noticed the difference in
character. Although we are students at a
Jesuit institution, it is extremely uncommon to find people actually fulfilling
their religious duty to serve others as the Jesuits would want done. For me,
this practice caused a lot of frustration, laughs, and a kinder heart.
As
I began the day, I said to myself, “there is no way I’m doing this nonsense!”
I’ve done my fair share of Jesuit initiatives in high school, but this one was
a little radical even for me. An entire day of kind, true and non-hurtful
words? That is nearly impossible for me. Not that I do it intentionally to hurt
people, rather I use my words as a canvas to paint myself and show people my
humorous side. I result to using pure sarcasm at least 10 conversations each
day, so this task was difficult and made me quite angry. It just so happened that this Examen was being
done on the day that I came across the most nonsensical, rude, and just plain
difficult people you could imagine. I had my lunch order ruined, an entire cup
of soda spilled on my lap and the most obnoxious, demeaning man who could
possibly serve me at the Apple store. I wanted so much to explode, but I kept
my cool and I tried really hard. I got so unlucky that day, I finally had to
just take the bad and laugh at it.
Even
more laughs were made. All of my roommates know how I speak and they know how
open I am. I’m always talking and I’m always being comical. As I came in the dorm
from lunch, my roommate, Neal, challenged me to a game of FIFA Soccer on the
Xbox. I knew this would be the ultimate test because I love taunting my
opponents just to play with their minds and emotions. As the game went on, I
found myself saying things like, “nice team play by you,” or “wow, Neal, really
nice shot, that was perfect.” It was so odd for me because I never play games
like this and it was so odd for my roommates because they had nothing to do but
laugh awkwardly, seeing as they had no clue why I was being kind. My roommates
are so used to me being sarcastic that they thought me being sincere and kind
was actually sarcasm. This is why I got a great amount of laughs and pure
enjoyment out of this Examen compared to the previous one.
After
all was said and done, I felt surprisingly better about myself. It is not often
you are asked to step back from your personal reality and be different. Surely, I was hesitant and I questioned
myself. As I went around complimenting people and being nicer, conversation
came actually more difficult. I was not used to this new me, but I really
enjoyed it. I walked away from every situation I was in that day and I felt
better about myself. Warm, that is what I felt inside. I am not going to lie
and say this experience changed me, but it showed me that I can change.
This
task called for you to dig deep mentally and spiritually. I had to understand
that I was doing this for a much more superior reason than myself and once you
stop thinking about solely yourself, your mind and eyes are opened wider than
ever.
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