As in the last self-observation iExamen, communication played a key role in this iExamen. However this one was different because you had to change the way in which you communicate. As humans what we say is not always kind, useful, or true. In this self-observation what we said had to be kind, useful, and truthful, which is not always easy. Changing the way in which we communicate always poses a problem.
In the Jesuit tradition self-observation is important, however the way in which we interact with one another is even more important. For me this iExamen was not about changing the way I communicate but I had to pay attention to what I was saying. I tend to be a very blunt and honest person. People tend to say that is something they like about me. However what I say may not always be kind or useful but definitely truthful. This can hinder relationships because sometimes what is said is hurtful even though I don’t mean it to be.
This self-observation helped me a lot. They day I decided to do the self-observation was the day before leaving for break. I chose this day because I knew we were all leaving and thought it would be a good time to try it out. I made it through the whole day until about nine o’clock that night. I started to realize how people looked at me, and they started to recognize the change that I made to my daily interactions. People are not use to me being so kind and were taken back by my change. They then found it humorous after I explained to them what I was doing. They said “you can’t go a minute without saying something mean,” which I find funny because it is true. I realized when I came to school that I use my sarcastic and mean tone as a defense mechanism. It’s a way for me to feel comfortable because people tend to laugh when I say something. However sometimes people are offended by what I say.
This iExamen helped me realize that it is important to be kind, useful, and truthful when speaking to one another. Sometimes people can be taken back when someone is honest but mean and it can ruin relationships. Through this self-observation I learned a lot about myself. Since observing myself last week I have recognized a change in the way in which I communicate with everyone around me. They have also noticed a difference in my communication as well. This iExamen has really changed the way I see myself and how others perceive me as well.